thebig40

Last night I watched the movie The Bucket List. Well of course one has to write their own bucket list after watching such a heart wrenching movie. I actually made out one about a year ago and last night I was looking over it and discovered that I already need to revise it. Sadly things occur in life that alter what you can and can not do. I now realize that a couple of items on my list will have to be crossed out because I am not going to be able to do them, now or in the future. It is a hard thing to do as I only had a few items even on my list. I suppose I am just not one of those super ambitious people. My revised list is below.

Get published
Get a Yorkie puppy of my very own
Go to New York at Christmas time so that I can see the lighting of the tree at Rockefeller Center
I want to go to a Ballet
I want to make a real difference in another person's life (my children do not count)
I want to save a life, any life (to counteract any negativity that may be caused in the universe if I ever take my own)

  Growing up in my old house you learned early on that nothing in life was free and everything was a gamble.

Once when my brother and I were kids, our job one day was to rake the leaves on the side of the house. When we came across a nest of snakes we knew it was a huge risk but we stopped raking and told our mother. Even though she said we could stop we knew it was a gamble. Of course all Hell broke loose when the old man came home and we regretted not dealing with the snakes instead. We had gambled and we lost.

Our old man also taught us early on how to play poker and of course, like everything else, playing cards was not free. If you didn't have money to bet, you didn't play. This concept extended to all aspects of our lives as well. Betting was expected on all levels, even with a game of Go Fish. The first sound you would hear after the crack of a deck of cards was "What are we playing for?". Our parents already owned our asses for free slave labor so we always had to play for material goods. Larger items were always inventoried and levied against future earnings as we were too young to hold a job.

To this day my mother maintains a list of items that she claims that both my brother and I still owe her. I say "claims" as another lesson taught to us early on was to settle your bets as soon as possible. One thing that you never wanted was the old man holding a debt over your head. Though as time passed there may have been a few items that I had forgotten about with regards to my mother.

Lessons I learned from my childhood include, but are not limited to:

1. Nothing in life is free.

2. Everything is a gamble.

3. Only bet what you can afford to lose.

4. Always sleep with your back to the wall and facing the door.

5. If your life seems to be going well, something horrible is about to happen.

6. Anything can be repressed.

and 7. Squirrel and rabbit meat taste nothing like chicken.

 Just a quick note, two books just came out that I am going to read. One is Marilyn Monroe's personal notes, diaries and so forth that was recently found and the other is Mark Twain's autobiography. He wrote it and put a hold on it for 100 years after his death. He wanted to be able to write candidly and not jeopardize his reputation, career or offend anyone. It was finally released yesterday and is HUGE. It may take me quite awhile to find the time to read it, but it promises to be great. I am trying to keep up my reading and improving my mind, otherwise I will find that my children are sucking the brain cells right out of me. 

 Just wanted to update. I want to keep blogging daily but do not want to override my self-improvement blog so I have had to open up a new livejournal account to start a second blog. I am just yakking about my life in the poor lane. The recession is hitting everyone so we are tightening our belts and are going to figure out how to keep our same lifestyle going on a frugal budget. Funny I know. My other journal will be here:  http://thebig41.livejournal.com/ .  I am currently being forced to watch a great pair of riding boots go to someone else on ebay because I currently can not afford to bid on them. Bite me.

I am currently reading Tim Gunn's new book Gunn’s Golden Rules: Life’s Little Lessons for Making It Work . It is no secret that I love Tim Gunn. Who wouldn't? He's smart, incredibly articulate, stylish of course, gentle natured to a fault, professional and above all grounded in reality. Also, after having recently seen him on a couple of T.V. show guest spots, I can say that he is hilarious as well. His book reveals something about his childhood and his life, his ideas on good manners in a world gone mad, and delicious stories about the rich and famous which mostly make me laugh more than anything. 

Apparently when I finish that book I now have to re-do one of my goals. I was just informed that Dr. Perricone, the author of the Wrinkle Cure, has just come out with a new book that discusses his new strategy for curing wrinkles called nutrigenomics. Well, WTF?@#$!%^#  I just adapted my old skin care regime based on his original strategy. I am hoping that this book is mostly a repeat and simply expands on his old strategy slightly. I seriously doubt he will come out saying that he was wrong the first time. Oh well, I guess I still have some improving to do. 



 

 Today's goal was to embrace my 40's and learn How to Create Ageless Personal Style in Your 40's and Beyond. This was based on advice learned from the same book by Kendall Farr. 

First of all, I would like to say that I am not exactly thrilled to be in my 40's now. I am not exactly saddened either. I do not mind at all dressing like a woman and not like a twenty year old. I do not aspire to walking around in public with the word "Juicy" emblazoned across my butt. I certainly don't want to walk around in such a fashion that boy scouts are tripping over themselves trying to help me across the street either. I can still remember the sting of those first few "Ma'ms" that I received.

The book really focused on fit and silhouette. It listed various things to avoid in your clothes, like patterns that can be seen as too "girly" for women of age. It actually made a lot of sense. Something else new that I learned was that it doesn't matter what your good colors or tones were when you were 20, they have most likely changed by the time you turn 40. The coloring of your hair , skin and your undertones change as you age and as hormones ravage your body. You should get your colors and tones rechecked every decade and adjust accordingly.

This was a great last goal as I did learn more about how to dress for my age. I absolutely can not believe that the year is up. I actually survived as did my 5 kids and my husband. Although I really wanted to complete the entire year of improvement I was not sure I was going to actually be able to do it. I am not going to lie, it was not easy. It was time consuming. It was hard. The kids complained a lot when they did not like the goals that they had to participate in. But we did it. And we are so much better for having done it. I have experienced so many new things, learned so much, tried things I would never have tried otherwise and have a great many memories that are now priceless. My hair, skin and nails have never in my life been as healthy as they are now. My diet is excellent. I have improved tremendously. I finished War and Peace and it was incredible. There were battles and abortion and suicide. It was like reading a Russian soap opera. I am simply ecstatic that I finished the year. Words can not describe the feeling of accomplishment. I think that my husband should reward his new and improved wife with a gift. ( I have an Oscar de la Renta sweater bookmarked on my computer that would be perfect.)


One last thought I would like to impart, 40 is nothing to fear, it is incredible. With some high maintenance skin care you don't have to look 40 either. I do not have a single wrinkle around my eyes. (Now the two laugh lines around my mouth are a different story). I would like to thank you for sharing the year with me. 

 My goal for today was supposed to be a family goal where the family holds our own Amazing Race. Sadly this goal had to be canceled. With my impending 41st birthday coming up I decided not to let the day go to waste so I spent it on improving my outer appearance.

I attempted to give myself a hair mask but there is a chance that I applied it incorrectly. The directions were not very clear so I winged it. It was supposed to sit on your hair for 10-20 minutes but while it did this, it sort of hardened. I have never had a hair mask stiffen up on my hair before. It was weird. My hair was actually crunchy!  It washed out easily though so I guess it was okay.

I gave my face a mask as well. I have used this same mask before and I like it, but at some point today something went awry. My bottom lip started swelling up. I have absolutely no idea what happened but all of a sudden I looked like Goldie Hawn in The First Wive's Club. The only difference was that only my bottom lip swelled up which made my upper lip look even smaller than usual. Needless to say it was not attractive and it provided my kids many a laugh throughout the day. I am seriously hoping that I wake up normal again in the morning.

I also gave myself a manicure. Of course my nails did not look as nice as they do when a professional manicurists does them, but I tried. I used Sally Hansen's new quick dry polish.  Well, I can affirm that it dries quickly. I can also add that it begins chipping off within the first day of application as well. That was not money well spent.

I moisturized every inch of my body as well. This is something that, at my age, I really should be doing every day. I suppose that if I had been doing this daily since my 20's I would not have "old lady knees" as my daughter calls them. Too bad no one informed me of this when I was 20.

Although I am extremely disappointed that we did not get to have our last family goal, I am always glad to be working on improving my looks. Well, I actually ended up looking a little scary today, but the intentions were good. My next and final goal will be to embrace my 40's by learning How to Create Ageless Personal Style in Your 40's and Beyond. 

 My goal for today was to learn how to change anybody. To do this I used the book by the same name by author David Lieberman, PH.D.

This book promises that their techniques will "reshape anyone's attitude, behavior, feelings or beliefs." The book is very practically divided up into chapters and you simply read the chapter on the behavior that you wish to change. The first chapter I read was on how to "Bring Out the Romantic Side in Anyone". This was dealing strictly with romance and not sex. I was less than impressed with their suggestions. The first suggestion it offered was that if you have someone whom you want to be more romantic, that you ask them to pretend that they are someone else (a romantic character from a movie )  and have them act like that person. Okay.....I don't even know how to respond to that one.

I also read the chapter on making people more generous . I really like their suggestion on fundraising for donations. It suggests that you never ask for a donation in an amount that is an even number. You should always request an odd amount. This causes the person to actually stop and think about your request. Even numbers are easy to dismiss without even thinking about the cause. This makes sense to me. I would be much more likely to donate $18 than $20 and not because the $18 is a lesser amount.

Sadly there were no chapters related to changing any of the behaviors in my children that I hope to change. My five year old refuses to stop sucking his  thumb, my fourteen year old can't walk with his back straight to save his life and my ten year old has a tragic phobia of fruits and vegetables. I will have to scour all of the chapters to see if maybe some of the suggestions for other areas can be transferred to my specific needs. From what I have read so far it does seem like some of the techniques have a good chance of working but there are also some that just seem ridiculous to me.

My next goal will be a family goal. My kids and I are looking forward to the new season of the Amazing Race starting this month, so in honor of that we will be holding our own version of the Amazing Race. 

 My goal for today was to learn how to jumpstart a car.

This is just one of those things that women should learn how to do but usually don't. Don't get me wrong, when there is grease and oil involved I am all for the man being the one doing it, but for safety and convenience women should also know how to do this. Luckily, it is super easy to do. It did take me a few minutes to figure out how to get the hood of my van open but that was the hardest part. My battery was not actually dead so I did not attempt to jumpstart it. I did find out all the proper steps and made sure I had the tools needed and that I knew where everything was located. I have a pair of jumper cables in my car emergency kit that I made for my van this year so that was easy. You simply connect the red cable to the positive part of the battery and the black one goes on the negative part. You start the other car first, rev it up, then attempt to start the dead one. Once it starts you remove the cables in the reverse order that you put them on in, negative and then positive. You should then leave the car running for at least 20 minutes to make sure the battery recharges. Personally, I would then drive my little booty over to an auto center and get a new battery put in so that it does not happen again.

I thought the red cable should be for the negative and the black should be for the positive. It would be easier to remember I think. When your checkbook is in the red ( mine always is), then you have a negative balance, if it is in the black, then you have a positive balance. Makes sense to me, but it was probably a man who came up with the cable-battery system so no telling what he was thinking. My guess is that it has something to do with football or beer. Who knows what men are thinking half of the time. Goals like this one are empowering. It makes me feel like Super-Mom. I can do anything. I can fix any boo-boo, clean any stain, find a designer dress on sale for 90% off and have an extra 10% off coupon to boot. I can even fix my own car now. My kryptonite would be a great bag or a great pair of boots. Sorry but those two things would render me useless against logic and put me into a  I-must-buy-those-now-who-needs-electricity frenzy. But other than that, I am now Super-Mom and will on occasion require my kids to address me in this manner. I think there may be a chance that my year of improvement has gone slightly to my head. Well, I think I will still require a "Mom, I think you are a super-hero" every now and then. If history repeats itself in my house, I will probably start hearing that phrase right before Christmas. That is when I usually get the bulk of my compliments from my kids.

My next goal will be to learn "How to Change Anybody". Sounds good to me.

 My goal for today was basically to be 13 years old again and write my first fan letter.

Childish I know, but everyone should write at least one fan letter in their lifetime. Mine of course could only have been sent to one person, Al Pacino. Well, I was tempted to drop Paul McCartney a line, but ultimately Al was my man. It was extremely easy. I simply gushed my ramblings out like a crush stricken preteen. In fact, upon reading it, the reader may actually think that I am a preteen. It's all good as I did  not sign my real name. I understand that no one will ever read it or relate it to me personally as I am your average Jane Doe, but just signing my own name to something so silly was too embarrassing to bare. You can find anyone's fan mail address on the internet these days. I am guessing the internet has seriously boosted the stalking industry of late. 

I will report back if Al responds personally but I am not holding my breath. Anyway, it was fun and I suggest everyone do it before they turn 41.  Why not? My next goal is much more practical and something that every woman should know how to do herself. I am going to learn how to jumpstart a car. It is time to get a little greasy.